February 27, 2014

Define Your Own Life

My friend and I were talking the other day about people we know.  Everyone pretty much seemed to fit in to one of two categories.  Even in these modern times, it seems like there are two broad stereotypes for women and relationships in their 20s and 30s.  The ones who marry young and start popping out kids, and are very family focused.  Then there are the ones who focus on their career, take a little time for themselves, and maybe for other reasons are not married.  It's apparent in pop culture, movies, the people YOU went to high school with, and it's the relative norm.  I don't think it's fair.  This got my wheels turning.  Spouse? Job? 

Was I really defining others on this ONE little factor of life?

I have been like 3 different people since high school, heck, even since college, so I can't fathom having been attached to the same person for the last ten years of that roller coaster from hell.  I can't even imagine my life any other way.  I have learned life lessons at every speed bump to better myself.

I always knew what I wanted to be from the time I was in kindergarten.  (Well for a short time, I wanted to be Shania Twain, but after that.)  I wanted to teach kindergarten.  I had a few hiccups on the college path, focused on some different things, but I came out with a teacher-esque job before I even received my bachelor's.  Ding ding ding! I thought I had it all figured out.  It worked out perfectly, and so I knew I had made the right decision.

Fast forward a few years later and things totally changed.  I wasn't miserable, but I wasn't happy.  I was being stifled creatively and I couldn't even see how unhappy I truly was.  Blessings come in disguise because even though it wasn't completely my decision... Moving on was the best thing to happen to me.
Uh oh, life detour.
At first, I was freaked out.  I spent seven years at one place working my way up.  When you wanted something since you were five, people wonder about you when you just drop off that path.  "You'll find something soon, you were meant to do this!" they would say.  But I didn't want something similar. I wanted a change.  I craved something new.  The problem was that I didn't WHAT I really wanted. So enter the quarter life crisis.

OMG.  I'm getting wrinkles and I don't have the bearded husband (he would totally have a beard.) No cute little house or red-headed babies.  And the one thing I did all on my own (my degree, career, my job) was indefinitely on pause.  Where do I stake my pride? What do I have to be proud of?  I never suffered from lack of self-confidence.  You probably won't meet many bloggers who do.  I've always believed that the way I was raised and encouraged made me the strong and independent person I am today.  (Points to Donna & Gene for that one.)

Why on Earth in 2014 are people still staking their claim in what other people see in them? I am proud of myself and what I've accomplished--even if it didn't turn out the way I drew it in a picture on career day in grade school.  Plus, I always drew myself with bangs.  WTF.

To the type of person that sums me up as a single, 25 year old, basically unemployed resident of TN.  But hey, that's not me, that's just my tax return.  We are all so much more than that.  Even if you're married, single, in school, divorced, jobless, living with your parents, single mother/father, anything... 

You are you.

Even when people ask me what I've been up to, I won't be ashamed for a second to tell them that I am still figuring it out.  On my own.  I'm going to continue being me. Unapologetically.  I mentioned in my last post like this, here, that I wanted to get deeper and post more words from my head and my heart. Not just my closet.  So again, thanks for reading, thanks for being encouraging, and thanks for being YOU.  Someone out there is a better person because you're in their life.  You're a pretty big deal.                                                                                                                                                                      
Follow on Bloglovin
photo cred:


  1. YOU'RE a big deal!!!! This post is amazing. You are strong and motivated and confident and those are some seriously major traits to have!!! :)

    1. Thanks a MILLION! That is the sweetest comment in the history of the world. XO

  2. Wow this post really hit home with me. Thanks so much for sharing your journey! It's girls like you that make being 25 so much easier. ESP the ones who are in the same boat. So thanks again lovie!

    1. Thanks so much for reading! I'm more impressed by the exceptions (us) to the norm, myself :)

  3. You're awesome. That is all. This was super encouraging to read as someone who is about to enter the real world and already feels the pressure of expectations from people around me.

    You rock. Let's hangout sometime.



    1. Let's take our 6 foot tall selves and wear heels and dance! And there will be lots of lipstick.

  4. Love! And I totally wanted to be Shania Twain once upon a time too!

    1. Hell, I would still want to be her. Minus the whole husband cheating debacle.

  5. I love this post, it totally puts all my colombian friends asking why at 33 I'm not married and popin' kids (as you so gracefully put it) back where they belong, in the "unless you pay my bills you get no saying about my life" category. And I am happy where I am. Thanks missy!!!


  6. I still don't have it figured out. Some days I'm ok with it. Some days I want to pull my hair out.

  7. I don't fit into these categories. I did marry very young but no kids and I am happy with that! Definitely you are a big deal and it nice that you are just you!



Hi, chickens! Thanks for visiting and share a comment or two! I respond to all comments, so check back if you have any questions.