"I brake for birds
I rock a lot of polka dots
I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours
I spend my entire day talking to children...
and I find it fundamentally strange that you’re
not a dessert person.
That’s just weird, and it freaks me out. I'm sorry I don't talk like Murphy Brown,
I hate your pantsuit
I wish it had ribbons on it or something to make it slightly cuter-
And that doesn't mean I'm not smart and tough and strong...
And I'm about to go pay this $800 fine and my checks have baby farm animals on them... bitch!"